Your picker is NOT broken! Up until now, you’ve just been hasty. Your motivation was not coming from that calm, confident and inspired center inside you. The 3 tools that I am about to share with you will not only help you get calm, confident and inspired, but they will make it easy to pick the right guy this time.
The best part? To make these tools work for you, you don’t even have to join a dating site! There’s too much pressure there anyway. Just get out into your community and participate in activities that you enjoy. Play a sport, take a salsa lesson or read a book at the bookstore… and as you do, be sure to integrate the following 3 tools:
- Clarify your values and make sure they align (naturally) with his.
- Trust that divine timing thing—it’s real.
- Clear all ex’s out of your mental, physical, and emotional space.
Clarify your values and make sure they align (naturally) with his.
This sounds simple in theory, but it’s not always executed in real life. Do you know your top 5 values? You must if you want to attract the right guy this time.
What are values? Values are what is most important in your life – what gives your life meaning and relevance. They create your inner framework of how you make choices and can be your deepest motivators. Honoring your values brings richness and fulfillment to your life. When you know your values, you will find direction, purpose, and intention. Then you can match your values up to possible suitors’ to see if your values align. When they do, there is an abundance ease, understanding, compassion, acceptance, and virtue in the relationship!
I have a values exercise that can help you clarify your values. Click here if you’d like to request one.
My top 2 values are Health and Family. My husband matches up here with family. Although he attends the obligatory work dinners, he makes it a point to keep work travel to a minimum so he can spend quality family time.
He’s coming along on the health front. Since we met, he’s shown interest in how I take care of myself and I watch him take strides to keep healthy as he quickly passes the 40-year mark. We see what happens to older folks who don’t have this as a value and we want to make sure we can keep up with our kids as much as possible into our 80’s.
What are your top values? Please share them in the comments section below and how they aligned or didn’t align with your previous partners.
Trust that divine timing thing—it’s real. I get it. You want it and you want it now. But I encourage you to trust in divine timing. As long as you live in alignment with your values, participating in activities you love, the right guy will come!
I have talked to so many people who rush it and end up in another unsatisfying relationship. I was guilty of the “you’ll do” phase. But he won’t do.
Wait, take it slow, and act on the red flags that show up as you get know each other. When I was dating, I remember trying to convince myself that “this behavior” or “that attitude” would go away. It never did. So don’t try so hard.
Remember, you are the magnet. The right guy will come to you. You don’t have to put on an act or overlook important problems. Tell those nagging voices in your head to shut up. You have time, you have plenty, and you are the magnet.
Clear all ex’s out of your mental, physical, and emotional space. This one takes some mental power. The ‘cleaner’ you are from psychic drama, the more likely new and wonderful people will come into your life.
Share with your ex’s that you are clearing out the past and you will stop communication with them. Explain that you are doing them a favor and cut all cords. You will feel lighter, and there will be room for the right lover to come in to your life.
I hope that you enjoy and apply these 3 tools because I want you to find the right guy this time. There’s a little work to do, but it’s worth it in the end when you have that feeling deep down inside that this time, it’s for real!